sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
