New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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