Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
