forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
