I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
