First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
