I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
