he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
