May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He had one of those small greek statue penises
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
