I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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