you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize