after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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