it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
