You can't motorboat a personality
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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