I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
