I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
