Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
