At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
