This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
