You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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