Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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