I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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