We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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