So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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