would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
