i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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