K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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