Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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