I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
