I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
