As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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