She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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