i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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