He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
