I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
