i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize