i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
