Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
