my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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