you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
