if i died would you start the facebook group?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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