so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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