Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
