i think my mom watched the whole time
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
