I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
