went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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