Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
