i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
