Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
