There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
