I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
