If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
