So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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