So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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