I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
