I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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