he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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