Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
