I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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