it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's blow job season.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
