Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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