Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my liver is dry heaving
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
