also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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