I forgot how hot balto sounded
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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