He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
